Phil Donahue, a television icon and legendary talk show host, passed away at the age of 88, leaving behind a remarkable legacy both on and off the screen. One of the cornerstones of his personal life was his 44-year marriage to actress Marlo Thomas, best known for her role in That Girl. Their relationship, which was marked by love, understanding, and mutual respect, has become an inspirational example of what a successful marriage can be.
In an emotional tribute on Instagram, Marlo Thomas expressed her deep grief and shared one of her favorite photos of the couple. She thanked her followers for their love and support, emphasizing how much Donahue cherished his connection with his audience. Despite their private approach to marriage, the couple eventually shared the wisdom they had gained over their decades together. Their relationship was built on what Thomas called the “three Ls”: love, listening, and lust — the essential components she credited for their lasting bond.
Phil Donahue and Marlo Thomas first met in 1977 on the set of The Phil Donahue Show. Their connection was undeniable, sparking curiosity among those who witnessed their interaction. The next day, Donahue called Thomas, setting off a romantic journey that spanned the next four decades. Despite the challenges of a long-distance relationship between Los Angeles and Winnetka, Illinois, the couple made it work through mutual respect and compromise.
Their decision to live in New York was a reflection of Donahue’s desire to balance his personal and professional life, and Thomas supported this choice. While Donahue had been married before and was the father of five children, Thomas approached her role with openness, choosing to be a friend rather than a traditional stepmother. This decision allowed her to forge strong, lasting relationships with Donahue’s children.
The couple’s journey wasn’t without difficulties. At one point, they broke up three months before their wedding due to the pressures of maintaining careers in different cities while also managing personal responsibilities. Yet, neither could deny their love for one another. After a brief separation, they realized they were irreplaceable to each other. Thomas recalled that Donahue’s midnight phone call, expressing his realization that no one could take her place, brought them back together. Twelve weeks later, they were married.
Throughout their marriage, Phil Donahue and Marlo Thomas kept their relationship away from the limelight. They believed that their union was sacred and something to be protected. The two only began publicly discussing their marriage when they co-authored What Makes a Marriage Last: 40 Celebrated Couples Share with Us the Secrets to a Happy Life, which was published to celebrate their 40th wedding anniversary.
Their book shared lessons from other famous couples and offered advice for creating long-lasting relationships. Donahue and Thomas revealed that there wasn’t a single secret to their marriage’s success but rather a combination of many elements. For them, commitment was non-negotiable, and they were dedicated to each other through thick and thin.
In a 2023 interview, Marlo Thomas explained that their marriage thrived because of the three Ls: love, listening, and lust. These elements helped them navigate the highs and lows of their relationship. Love provided the emotional foundation, listening ensured they understood one another deeply, and lust maintained the romantic spark that kept them connected.
Thomas also spoke about the strength of their friendship, which evolved over time. While they had disagreements and difficulties, their commitment to never looking for an escape route was a testament to the strength of their bond.
In their later years, Donahue and Thomas found joy in working together for the first time on their book and podcast, “Date Night.” Their discussions with other couples helped them reinforce their own marriage and share valuable insights with others. They remained as committed as ever to nurturing their relationship, a bond that Thomas cherishes deeply even after Donahue’s passing.
Phil Donahue’s death marks the end of a legendary career, but the love story he shared with Marlo Thomas will continue to inspire countless couples. Through their challenges and triumphs, they demonstrated the power of love, listening, and lust, leaving behind a legacy of resilience and devotion.